47 is much too young to leave.......

I sat at a memorial service for Tim’s cousin on Saturday which hit me much harder than I thought it would. It was one of those “ah-ha” moments that life hits us with every now and then. It’s a reminder of how precious life is……what a gift we’ve been given with life…….and the gift we’ve been given with those God has put in our lives. I hope that I’ll take this “ah-ha” moment and continue to ponder it and allow God to do a work in me with it.

Sherry Suzette Wingard was born August 21, 1962 and died much too young, at 47, after a long hard fight with cancer, on November 17, 2009. She is survived by her husband, Wallace Wingard, 2 children, daughter, Samantha and son, Clay, and 2 step daughters, Kristie and Samantha. She also leaves behind 3 grandchildren which is what breaks my heart. She was exactly 7 months, 14 days older than me.

Tim and I were scheduled to fly to Miami on Thursday after work to head to the final NASCAR race of the season. We were looking so forward to it and to hanging with some of our best buds, Grant and Tiffinee. I had had a pretty stressful and trying couple of weeks with Daddy’s cancer / surgery / on-going set backs, so this trip was just what I needed. BUT, after learning her memorial service would be on Saturday, my wonderful husband, family man he is, knew that we had to lay aside our wants and desires and do what we needed to do. So we headed up early Friday to Ruston, Louisiana with Tim’s brother and sister-in-law.

Friday night was the viewing and we all hung out at the Funeral Home and went to get something to eat. Saturday morning we got up and headed to Tim’s mom’s to pick her and John up so we could all ride together. The service was in the church where Tim’s grandparents and so much of his family grew up in. St. Rest Baptist Church…..a small little country church with such history. We were looking at the picture in the foyer of the 150th reunion and I thought about all of the lives that gone to that church, was saved in that church, baptized in that church. Those married and those buried at that church. The service was nice and hit me in a particular way about what we leave behind…….our legacy……but afterwards is where it got tough.

The family walked across the two lane road to the cemetery where other family members were buried, including Suzette’s mom, Linda, who was also Tim’s mom’s twin sister. Suzette wanted to be cremated her ashes scattered across “the creek”, a place where she and Wally had a camp and hung out with all their friends just about every weekend. Anyway, they also buried an urn for symbolism I guess. Her son Clay had already dug the hole for the urn and we all gathered in the dreary, drizzly, cold to say our final good-bye’s. As he started covering the urn with dirt, I started thinking again about death and how we are not promised tomorrow. I thought of her young kids (in the 20’s) without a mom, and those grandkids……………those precious little boys!

As he finished up Suzette’s son-in-law, Stevie sat down on a bench with Samantha, his wife and Suzette’s daughter, and started playing and singing a song he wrote. Samantha was holding the paper with freshly written words on it as her husband played and sang a beautiful song about choosing heaven on earth………. in how we live.

Backing up, Tim, myself and some of the kids went to Ruston, LA this past summer for a family reunion. Stephanie had given me a beautiful book for Mother’s Day of her family and my precious grandkids. Anyway, Suzette and I were sitting there looking though the book and she kept telling me I had such a precious family……that my grandkids were adorable and then went on to tell me that that was what she was living for right now. She said she loved her husband and she loved her kids, but they had memories of her to last forever. She started telling me about how those 3 grandsons (all under 4) would have a hard time really remembering her and she was treasuring every moment she could with them right now. She knew she was getting closer to her appointed time to depart this earth. I remember as clear as day how that hit me then.

Now, here I am standing and listening to a beautiful song but all of a sudden standing and playing right beside me were her precious, energetic little grandsons. I was taken back to her words……watching them play not really knowing what all was happening around them. They were the three cutest little boys in the world. I was totally beside myself thinking about it. I can’t explain those moments. The words of the song……little boys playing……..a sad goodbye. Would they remember? It made me think about my JD, almost 5 and MacKenzie, who just turned 2. They love their KK and I love them so much that I can hardly stand it. I want to treasure each and every second I have with them. Life is so short. We are here but a breath………..we are not promised tomorrow. Life happens so fast…….it goes so fast……..we go day in day out like little ants going ninety miles an hour. We don’t slow down and really take in life. But I am reminded again to do that now.

I have been blessed beyond words with my Tim, my family, and my friends…..some I see often, some I rarely see but still treasure the friendship tremendously. Growing up my mom always said to me, “live every day like it is your last, you never know when it might be.” Do I? Do you? If God called you home tomorrow, what would be remembered about you? Will you leave this earth with earthly treasures left behind or treasures not of this earth….but of the heart. Will you have run the good race? Will you have any regrets? Do you have anyone you need to forgive? Do you have anyone you need to say you’re sorry to? Have you told those you love that you love them…..really love them….or do you assume they already know that? Do you hold those kids, those grandkids and treasure that moment?

None of us know when the day is. No one but the Good Lord Himself knows……so make sure your life is right with God……live each and every day like it is your last. Treasure the gifts God has given you. Make sure those you love know it. Slow down, enjoy the moments, smell the roses! We only get to live this life on earth one time. Make yours count!!! Live a life of gratitude and thankfulness……because we all have so much to be thankful for.

I do know that I can honestly say that I am not ready to leave this earth. I only found my soul-mate and best friend, Tim, 5 short years ago. I want to have many years loving him and growing old with him. I want to see my kids grown, marry, and my grandkids grow up. I have so much more life I WANT to live. BUT, if for some reason God decides my appointed time is here tomorrow, I will leave this earth a very happy and fulfilled woman.