Quick Update

I have so many things to say......so many emotions twirling in me right now but all I can say is that my baby girl is officially a high school graduate. Friday night she walked across a stage and was handed her diploma while listening to her family go apes yelling for her. She got tickled at us many times. She spotted us early and watched and laughed as were very goofy and trying to make her laugh. We had a blast. Then Saturday we had a wonderful luau in our backyard at our pool to celebrate hers and Eric's graduations. All my family came in (which was very nice) and we did a luau with the whole roasted pig and all. Very nice. Very nice indeed.

THEN, this week I have felt the blow of the enemy's hammer intensely. Without giving details, we are going through a trial as a family and it is extremely painful. I'm exhausted and need prayers immensely. I need wisdom more than I have ever needed wisdom in my life.

Thank you Lord for the fresh breath of joy and happiness, the release for just a time to celebrate my baby girl's milestone. Renew me, and give me strength to fight because I have none right now.

Motherhood is wonderful and yet so hard....

I have so much in my heart and on my mind right now but not sure I can actually get it out the way I feel it.

I was reading my precious daughter's blog http://the-van-fam.blogspot.com/ this morning and caught myself reflecting on my early motherhood years. How precious and wonderful little children are. I have so many wonderful memories of Stephanie, Shannon and Matthew when they were each young. I remember how though it was tough managing everything and everyone at times, the main hurts I felt for them were seeing the skinned and bloody knees, the scary dreams I would comfort them over. Or, helping them through those first heartbreaks with girlfriends and boyfriends. I remember how much I hurt for Stephanie the end of her sophmore year when she didn't make the varsity cheerleading squad (and was the only JV that didn't). She was devastated and I remember sleeping in her bed the entire night holding her while she cried and cried. Through all those hurts we grew as a family and we learned alot about God's love and His grace and mercy. Stephanie learned a ton that following year as she was Head Captain of the JV squad. She learned so much about character. I remember her Aunt Lizby telling her that God is more interested in building character in us than giving us everything we want. Those hurts I look back on and am grateful for. They did build character in all of us.

I think I am suffering the biggest pain right now than I ever have as a mother. I pray with all my heart the Lord brings us through this one in one piece. Right now I feel so battered, so weak, and so worn. BUT, I know that I know that if I stay down, who will battle for my son. I have to take a stand and be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. I need to gird my waist with the belt of truth, put on my breastplate of righteousness, pull up my boots of peace, take my shield of faith, put on my helmet of salvation and pick up MY SWORD, pray and fight for my Matthew.

Matthew is a mess right now. He has done things that I never dreamed he would. I've been naive and thought it was just a stage. Matt has baggage that has never been dealt with but we are doing that. I think his dad's and my divorce was the hardest on him. Today he says he understands and knows we are both much happier but I think there was damage through it. I will not let my son continue to walk this path of destruction. I beg for your prayers. His name means, Gift from God, and he is indeed that. He is just so lost right now. Not lost in the Lord, he has his salvation but lost in his way.

Also, I am hurting with a broken heart for Shan who shared a hurt with me that about knocked me off my feet. She is graduating in a little over two weeks and I ask for your prayers for healing of her heart. I don't want her going out into the big ol' world with baggage. I am so grateful she shared this with me and I will pray with her through this all.

The enemy is so mean. But, we have a God that is so good. And I know that He is always for us. He is my Strength and my source of help in my time of need. I really ask for your prayers for our family. This pain is almost unbearable.

"Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

"Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.

"And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints...." Ephesians 6:10-18

She's All Grown Up...........

We are embarking on a very momentous time in the Gannon family. Tim's oldest son, Eric, graduates from Texas Tech (Lubbock, Texas) on May 9th. We are so very proud of him. He's worked very hard and has reached an awesome time in a person's life...Accomplishment.

BUT, also, our baby girl, Shannon graduates from Cy-Fair High School on May 30. She's definitely having that "moment" when you realize you are about to step into the "real world". (She's teases......as opposed to the fake world.) My wonderful husband is out of town today so at lunch my plans were to run to Home Depot and get some more mulch for my flower beds. BUT, right before noon I got a text message that asked me what I was doing for lunch and would I meet her. Knowing how she has been feeling lately, I told her of course I would meet her. She called me a little later saying she was already at Joe's Crabshack and had us a table. I told her I was almost there.

I walked in, looked around and there was my girl sitting at a table studying a menu. She noticed me and looked my way with that beautiful smile of hers. But before I got to the table, tears were filling her eyes eventually overflowing and running down her cheeks. It took all I had not to start crying myself (I knew what was wrong) and just sit next to her and take her in my arms and tell her everything was going to be fine. I didn't care that we were in public but I am also trying to walk this walk (again - Steph graduated in 2001) with her but allowing her some dignity and opportunity to grow. SO, I sat down and we started talking it all through. The first thing she said when I sat down was, "I don't want to grow up." It's the typical Senior end of the year. You realize that your whole life so far has pretty much been planned for you. You live with your parents, you go to school, etc., etc. Now, you are faced with YOU having to plan your life. It is scary. BUT, I told her that Papa Tim and I would sit down with her and help her. Don't let it overwhelm her because she doesn't have to have it all planned out right this moment. Let's take it step by step. Long story short, we had a wonderful lunch together and helped her know that it's ok.

Now, I get back to work and start processing this all myself. My little girl is all grown up. I immediately am taken back in my mind to her kindergarten graduation where the whole time I am videoing it I am bawling. I will never forget as the processional music played that beautiful little girl, with her peach Easter dress on and that handmade blue graduation cap walked in and I said to myself, "I will blink and you will be walking in to that same music with your cap and gown on." And it has happened. I have blinked and in 7 weeks I will watch her walk in with that burgundy cap and gown on and yes, I will be bawling again. But with such pride. Shannon is very unique. She is one of the sweetest people I know on this earth. She is so sincere. So sensitive. So caring. She would do absolutely anything for anybody. She has the sweetest heart you will ever see. She definitely has a gift.

I pray God's richest blessings over her life as He directs her on the path she is to take. I ask for your prayers because it is a tough time in life. BUT, she will soar like a eagle.........that I believe with all my heart!!!!

Here are a few pics of her as a little girl and her Senior Pics.

Shan and her Nana.

My beautiful daughters, Steph and Shan

Celebrating Life

Well, I'm not blogging to tell you that today is my birthday but more importantly how blessed I am at the age of 45. I think the birthdays that hit on the 5's and 10's always seem to stand out more to me. This birthday has made me realize how if the Good Lord let's me live until I'm 80 then I have lived over half my life. If he decides to bring me home before 80, then I have definitely lived over half my life.

I am just so grateful for the Life the Lord has given me.

First, my salvation that gives me TRUE LIFE.

Secondly, a husband that I treasure with everything I have and love lavishly and know he feels the very same way about me!

Third, for kids that I love and am so proud of.

Fourth, two precious grandkids (so far - pray for many more). Grandkids. I can't even describe the joy they bring me.

Fifth, a family that I treasure.

Sixth, good health.

Seventh, for some priceless and dear friends.

Eighth, for a beautiful home, job and enough money to enjoy life.

I have learned not to take life for granted. I treasure each and every day as if it were my last. The Lord does not promise us a tomorrow. He knows the number of our days. I trust HIM there. SO, I want today to matter. I want to make a difference in my family's lives. I want them to know that I love them and not just assume it. I want to tell them (and I do) all the time, every chance I get, every time I talk to them that I love them. I want to show them every time I can. I do hope that the Father gives me many more years to spend with Tim, since we only found each other 4 years ago. We love each other so much and want to make up for the years apart. I want to watch each of our kids get married and have kids of their own. I want to treasure JD and Kenzie (and the others to follow) for many years.

BUT, all that said, if the Lord took me home tomorrow, I would have lived a very full, loved, and blessed life. And today, I celebrate LIFE!!!!!!!

7 things you may or may know about Mama G

I was tagged by http://the-van-fam.blogspot.com/ (my precious daughter, Stephanie) so I guess I have to answer and pass on........................

Here are the rules: Link your tagger and list these rules on your blog. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

My 7 Things...

1. I wake up every day of my life and roll over and stare at my wonderful, handsome husband sleeping and thank God for him. On the mornings he is out of town, I still roll over and stare at his pillow and still thank God for him.

2. Today is my birthday. I am 45. Wow.

3. My great uncle x 8 (Jubal Anderson Early) was a Confederate General in the Civil War.

4. I love turtles.

5. I have a Dale Earnhardt Jr. shrine in our house. (Not really a shrine - just a collection but it has come to be known as "the Jr. shrine").

6. I am a hairspray finatic. Years ago a friend and I used an off brand (can't remember it now) that they stopped selling and it took me years to find the new "perfect" hairspray and you wouldn't believe how many cans of hairspray it took.

7. I paraglided off Mt. First in Grindewald, Switzerland in 2002. Mt. First is around the same elevation of Pikes Peak.

Now, I don't really have enough bloggers to tag (unless I am re-tagging) so if you happen to get on my blog to read hope you learned something new about Mama G.